have a v. close friend who has just emerged into the post-dateage-Death-to-Musician condition you were describing re: Jeff Mangum wrt John Darnielle and it is 100% antagonizing them
My advice to everyone is never to date someone who doesn’t like bands but, more importantly, never ever date anyone who likes bands. Because when you break up with someone you will have to break up with the bands they like. If you do not break up with those bands, it is either because you or politically weak-willed and amoral and like to uphold a liberal consumption paradigm in which Good Music is Good Because it is Good; or (if you are awesome) it is because you won the rights to this band and refuse to fork over custody. But, like, let’s be real: when a girl and a boy break up, John Darnielle would always choose to be on the boy’s side, because DUH, that is literally the political game of being a boy who cares about love. So, like, breaking up with a boy who likes The Mountain Goats means breaking up with The Mountain Goats.
But at the same time, this antagonism is political and fun and part of the process. Let’s be honest, Neutral Milk Hotel and The Mountain Goats are “good” if you need them to be but there is nothing intrinsically fun or politically proper about supporting them. The post-breakup disavowal is, like, always transformative, especially when you’re separating from a straight dude who cries about white dudes. It’s certainly more political than liking Jeff Mangum.
So anyway: there is literally nothing conceptually/politically/morally/aesthetically superior about liking music “independent” of its social situation, and it’s way more fun to hate your ex-boyfriend’s favorite band on principle.