810: what did we do last year, I can’t remember
810: [redacted] ruined my life, you stole his jager
810: oh yeah

does anyone else think those Dewars commercials with Claire Forlani’s fake irish (scottish?) accent are problematic

or like, stupid maybe

I am getting 2-4 hours out of two extra-strength Tylenol, that is bullshit. Going to have some booze tonight, cannot remember the last time I had a booze.

Outdated shade qualifiers to consider:

• toast
• wheat
• tomato
• fawn
• shell

Boozy shade names to remember:

• Pizzazz oil-inhibiting blush in “Winederful”
• Colortwist lipstick frost in “Very Fine Wine”
• Colorstick for lips in “Brandied Peach,” “Frosted Sherry,” “Sparkling Wine,” and “Plum Wine”
• Accolade Very Emollient lipstick in “Dewy Wine”
• Accolade blush in “Soft Wine”
• Ultrawear lipstick in “Wine ‘n Rubies”
• Ultrawear creme enamel in “Vintage Wine”
• 12-hour Eyeshadow in “Champagne Bubbles” and “May Wine”
• blush stick in “Wine Souffle”
• Colorcreme lipstick in “Champagne Magic”

Other notable, dated, or puzzling shade names:

• Ultrawear pearl enamel in “Wear-on Brown”
• Ultrawear creme lipstick in “Shellbeige”
• 12-hour eyeshadow in “Spiced Sand”

this is my favorite bar, all tenders are unskilled bros and ladybros and they put gummies (sometimes breakfast cereals) in your booze, which is in a bowl

In the Inbetweeners movie there’s a scene where Jay steals blue booze from behind the bar and makes a drink in a bowl and it’s like

PAGE OUT OF MY LIFE

hookedonsemiotics said:

god dammit I’ve never seen whiskey for this cheap I’m furious I’m smashign everything

this is the only thing i ever wanted anyone to take from this blog

synecdoche said: whatever, whiskey is better

Pilot’s not wrong, good thing I live an hour and a half from where they distill Canadian Club and Seagram’s and R&R and Canadian Mist, what’s yer state minimum anyway because the state minimum for a fifth of Canadian Whiskey that comes in glass is $4.25

hannahmcnoface:

Last weekend kace-o came to visit me and emma and my friend liam came over and we got a bunch of beers and my one direction paper dolls and watched the up all night dvd and made this drinking game and we kind of browned out and almost got alcohol poisoning so if you play (and you should), please play responsibly

we were actually going to continue with snl and some other videos/interviews but we ordered a pizza and got caught up in things and it was probably for the best

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Have I told you since yesterday that Hannah is the best at the internet? I’d like to add that the best drinking games are competitions. To make it a competition, everyone can pick a member and drink whenever they do a thing (whatever things). And, like, whoever picked the dumbest member of One Direction loses/wins.

jurassicsquid:

DID THE INTERNET LIKE MY WINE?

THE INTERNET LOVED YOUR WINE